Saturday, April 11, 2020

The Rooster and the Boy – An Easter Story



In remembrance of my Savior, Jesus Christ.  My infinite yoke.




Mr. Rooster and Mrs. Hen were the most joyful couple in the barnyard, but you wouldn’t know it to look at them.  Mr. Rooster sat on his favorite perch high on the barn every day.  He would watch the area around him, to see what he could see.  Many times, he saw the farmer milk the cow, plant his seeds, or pull his weeds.  Sometimes he would see the farmer collect honey from his bees. 

Every day, Mrs. Hen would lay her eggs, and patiently wait.  The farmer always came and gathered her eggs.  This made Mrs. Hen a little bit sad, but each night Mr. Rooster would fly down from his perch, sit by Mrs. Hen and tell her about all the good her eggs had done.  “The farmer fed his family today, then they went out planted that lovely field with wheat.  That will give many people food for a whole season,” he would say.  This brought Mrs. Hen peace. 

Another time, he told her, “Farmer sold your egg to the town doctor, and then he went to the hospital and saved the life of a sick man.” It made Mrs. Hen happy to learn of the good her egg had brought.

Then, every morning, at just the right time Mr. Rooster would fly back to his perch at the top of the barn and cocka-doodle-doo.  That is how the sun knew it was time to rise.  When the sun rose, the grass knew it was time to grow, the cow knew it was time to eat the grass, and the morning chill would melt away.

One day as Mr. Rooster sat on his favorite perch, high on the barn, he noticed a young boy was living near the bridge.  The boy was lost and scared.  Mr. Rooster flew down to Bunny and said, “Bunny, you can come and go from the garden as you please.  You are really good at squeezing through fences, and delicately bouncing over rocks.  Will you please take one of Mrs. Hen’s eggs and hide it where the boy can find it?”

Well, Bunny was white like the egg, but he really loved color and was something of an artist so each day as he delivered the egg to the boy, he would decorate it.  Somedays he would roll it in the green grass.  Other times he would stamp it with berries.  There were some eggs that he sprinkled with sparkly pollen.  Other eggs, he would wrap in soft, pink, flower petals. 

As the boy was searching for food, he would always find a beautiful egg hidden in the meadow.  Mrs. Hen would cluck with delight when she learned about the bright colors her eggs had become, and sleep so peacefully, when she heard that the little boy had found the egg each day.

One day, Mr. Rooster said to Bunny, “I don’t want you to hide the boy’s egg in the meadow today, instead I want you to roll it high up onto the mountain and hide it between the rocks.”  He never called to Bunny to deliver an egg to the boy again.

Instead, each day Mr. Hen would call to the sun and the sun would rise.  It would shine on the rocks in the mountain.  The rocks would absorb the heat and their shade would protect the egg from getting too hot in the day.  Then at night the rocks would release their heat and keep the egg from getting too cold.  The boy, however, did not find the egg in the mountain.  Mrs. Hen was worried.  The little boy was hungry.  Bunny was bored.  Nobody could see the egg safe in the mountain, but Mr. Rooster knew it was there. 

After some time, the boy decided he better climb the mountain to see if he could find more food.  As he climbed, he heard a tapping, and then saw an eggshell.  He looked behind a rock to discover a baby chick! 

The boy loved the baby chick and put him in his pocket.  With time, the boy had lots of eggs and a few more chicks.  He would use them to feed his family.  Sometimes, he would sell them to the doctor down the street.  But every morning, when he heard the old rooster crow.  He knew it was time to get up and welcome the day.

As a man, he remembered that time he had been lost.  He recalled a white bunny who would greet him each morning.  Amazingly, the bunny would come to him and softly snuggle him, comforting him through the morning chill.  Then, each day, the bunny would run off into the meadow.  The boy learned to follow him, and every day he would find a beautiful egg hidden in the meadow.  It was the bunny who, one Friday, had not taken him to the meadow, but instead darted up the mountainside.  It took the boy three days to choose to follow, but when he did, he was able to look over the valley and see his way home.  That was also the day he found the chick and saved his life.     

Now, once a year, on a beautiful spring Sunday.  The boy collects his bounty of eggs and decorates them.  He calls the nearby children to find the eggs skillfully hidden by “Bunny”.  He wants them to experience a little of the magic he did. 


On this day, it is Mrs. Hen, who joyfully watches as the children excitedly discover her beautifully arrayed eggs.  Then that night, when Mr. Rooster flies down from his perch, she tells him about how glorious her children had been and the glee they had brought.  She marvels at how much good her children have done.  And, although you might not be able to tell by first glance, Mr. Rooster rejoices too.      


Monday, November 3, 2014

A Halloween Fail

My daughter has wanted to be a pirate ship... for months.  We made her one out of cardboard a month ago.  It was crude but we had time to work on it, until we didn't.  I figured my son could be a pirate.  We put whiskers and an eye patch on him, until he wouldn't wear it... then we put overalls, a cowboy hat, and cowboy boots.  The whiskers still looked cute. 

As we headed to the school for a Halloween Hoopla, upon exiting the house my daughter decided the ship should be left behind.  Okay she could wear the eye patch, until she didn't.  As we walked through the hall, "trick or treating" my son had a break down because he wanted to go into the boys restroom.  I let them go into the girls, it was filthy.  I was ready to go home, but not before spending $13 on lame things at the book fair.  Son had another breakdown because I wanted him to play with the overpriced car I had just bought instead of somebody else's plastic bus.  Put son on shoulders, daughter on bike, eventually making it home... boots, eye patch, hat, car all carried in a bag.  Too worn out to fight the battle with any actual trick or treating.  Sat on swing and passed out candy.  Eventually daughter decided to put on ship, leaving son home we visited about 4 houses and back home.  Overtired son finally fell asleep.  Daughter followed shortly after.

The worst part is this was the only picture that got taken:



I had already been feeling guilty about not doing much for Halloween, wishing I had more spare cycles to do "special things."  This Halloween goes into my book as a major FAIL!  The best part is my daughter still declared it one of the "Best Days Ever." Thank goodness her expectations were low... and don't be surprised if at some point I dress those kids back up to get better pictures.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

A Lesson on Love

Fifteen months ago, I attended the temple bringing with me all my worries and concerns as my family entered a new stage of our life.  I came away with a promise and a reminder that the Lord keeps his promises.  I believed that promise would be fulfilled during 2013, and many of the things I did during the year were a manifestation of my faith in that promise.  I took chances I wouldn't normally have taken and the promise inspired hope where I would have struggled to have some.  As the year came to an end, and the promise was still yet to be fulfilled, my spirits dampened. 

Could my testimony survive a belief that the Lord did not keep his promise when it became apparent that the promise as I had understood it had not been received?  I went to my journal as I wrestled with this disappointment.  As I released the hurt and frustration through my pen, I was able to make a decision... I wasn't willing to let this experience rob me of my relationship with my Heavenly Father. 

I did not understand the Lord's will in this matter, but I wasn't willing to walk away from my most valued friendship because of it.  New resolve filled my soul and I became able to serve with more sincerity and earnest. 

I considered the first commandment, given by the Savior, to love God with all our might mind and soul.

Shortly, thereafter, I made a financial sacrifice to take my daughter on a carousel ride out our local mall.  She had been anticipating this opportunity for months, and I was happy to provide it for her.  We all rode and enjoyed the experience.  She was happy.  As we began leaving the shopping area we passed another, much smaller carousel ride.  As we passed that ride she indicated that she also wanted to ride that one, I declined and before we had exited the building she was in tears because she had not received her second desired blessing.  My heart sank, and I saw in her what my Heavenly Father might also see in me.  Did I only love God when He gave me the blessings I desired or could I also love God when I might feel forgotten and forsaken by Him?

Although, in the eternal scheme of things, I believe God does keep His promises.  I also believe, that many if not all of us will feel forgotten or forsaken by Him at one point or another.  We have evidence that even the Savior felt this emotion as he hung on a cross He cried out, "My God Why Hast thou Forsaken Me?"  May we, during our times of trial, find comfort in these words as we know that Christ has truly felt that hurt and in His infinite atonement carried that burden for us as well. 

Suddenly, Job's choice to not curse God has become understandable.  Job didn't love God because of all the blessings God had bestowed upon him... Job loved God because he chose to love God.  He was a friend and companion and the blessings, although I'm sure appreciated, were not the foundation of the relationship.  

A good friend once gave me some feedback about my tactlessness, "but its okay,"  she said, "because we know that about you and we love you anyway."  In my love for my friends, I like to follow the example of this friend and allow others their weaknesses.  I'm willing to overlook their follies and foibles, try to focus on their strengths and then choose to love them.  Our Father in Heaven has no foibles or follies, but it was a significant lesson to me, that we must still choose to love Him, not because of what He can, will or does bless us with, but because we value Him and His interactions in our life.  Love is a choice.  Love God. 

Monday, March 4, 2013

The Lord Makes Up the Difference

I'm not sure if this is a lesson I need to learn or a blessing I continually receive but I have had a few experiences in my life that gives me faith that the statement, "The Lord Makes Up the Difference" is indeed true. 

National History Day:  I was a good student, I generally tried to be in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing.  I wasn't the most competitive student, I, instead, opted for a balanced approach making sure I did all my homework, and hoping that was enough for me to learn the material to pass the course.  It worked in that I never failed (in fact, I remember a physics teacher who used to make us say aloud our grades after we graded our papers, as I reported my grade was an 87% he stopped... "Quarter 1 - 87%; Quarter 2 - 87%; Quarter 3 - 87%... well, at least you're consistent").  My sophomore year a combined English and history class assigned us to participate in a National History Day competition.  We had a "open pass" to go where we needed to go on campus during that period and to be honest some days, I went to my hang out spot.  As the competition neared, I was sure I was doomed to my day of reckoning, so you can imagine my surprise when I took first place in my division.  "The Lord Made Up the Difference" for that competition, and the reckoning came as I had to continue to improve my presentation for two more competitions!

Sister A:  My hardest companion in my favorite area.  She struggled with depression and many mornings slept late, struggling to get out the door on time.  I used to try and organize morning splits so we had a definite place we had to be.  On the mornings I was unsuccessful at this it was often late afternoon before we could get out.  It was torture on me!  My missionary mind was convinced we had to work as hard as we could - every minute- if we were going to be worthy to bring souls to Christ.  ... and yet the work flourished in that area.  After my transfer from that area, she stayed and her new companion stopped me at a zone conference.  "Was this a problem for you?  I don't get it, I've been working so hard in all my other areas, here I'm in all day and the baptisms are rolling in?"  The Lord made up the difference.  Perhaps Sister A was actually giving more than I gave her credit for.

Now I find myself in a situation again, where the Lord has made promises and as I look at the current scenario, I'm not sure how He's going to keep them... but I believe He will.  He always has.  He has proven time and again that He can make up the difference.  I'm choosing to have faith in that promise.

The most perfect example the Lord making up the difference is that of the Savior.  We know we are not perfect in this life and we are not going to be, yet, as we continue to strive to better ourselves He makes up for our weaknesses.  My favorite definition of grace is "more than we deserve." 

In general, I believe in the principle of hard work.  Expressions like, "you reep what you sew" and "due diligence" provide order and meaning to me.  The majority of my experiences have taught me that work is an essential part in receiving the blessings the Lord has in store for us.  These experiences urge me to press on.  The few experiences where the Lord has stepped in and provided more than I qualified for, however, give me hope.  Although I cannot be perfect in all things, I can still hope for grace. 

Friday, February 8, 2013

An Unintended Result?

I love having children. They are my joy. Just like we're promised, they bring me laughter and gladness. I feel so often that these are magical days we're living. I love it when they squeal with laughter, as they cuddle, or master new skills... but, I realized something the other day as I did the unglamorous job of moping the kitchen floor;  to have joy we must do the work of joy.  It has been my experience, that joy actually requires a great deal of work.     

Recently, I've been following some debates about inequality of women within the Mormon church.  The arguments are interesting and valid on both sides.  I wanted to take just a moment to explore my current thoughts and feelings. 

On the one hand, I am deeply grateful to the women and men who have protested inequality and have made effective changes in areas like women's right to vote, to own property, to gain an education, and to cultivate skills.  Because of them, I am employable in the workplace.  These opportunities have been a huge blessing in my life.

On the other hand, I don't believe some of the privileges have come without a price.  I feel that many men have used the feminist rhetoric as an excuse to not step up and perform their responsibilities.    More and more woman are expected to work outside the home, these women are not relinquished of their home responsibilities, they must still manage the day care, plan the meals, supervise the housekeeping, etc. but they must do it in addition to their full time jobs.  Having worked outside the home for over five years, I know that simply holding a full time job is stressful.  I can only imagine how that is compounded when you add raising a family to your full time job.  Its a situation I don't desire to be in. 

So while I'm grateful for the ability I have to be independent, I'm also grateful that I don't have to be.  I feel blessed when my husband takes seriously his role to provide and protect the family he helped equally in creating.  Truthfully, I'm happiest when I feel I can depend on him.  Ultimately, I believe in gender roles.  I don't want responsibility over his roles instead I want a partner who will join with me in doing the hard work of joy.  I will happily fold the laundry, if he'll take out the trash.  I will wake up in the middle of the night to breastfeed the baby if he will wake up in the morning and go to work.  I'll gladly bathe the children and get them ready for church, when he is serving in church meetings.  I don't have a need to sit in on church courts, or pass the sacrament, or be a Sunday School president.  I do have a need to trust that those things are done honorably, dependably, and fairly.

So before I stand up in protest asking for more gender equality in the church, I would kneel down and ask for more men who are willing to be dependable in doing the work of joy.   So that fewer women have to get the kids ready for church while their husband watches the football game or plays a video game.  So that fewer women cry as they leave their child with a sitter, because their husband won't work a full day or won't better his skills for a higher paying job or even worse, he has left them for somebody else or never really claimed responsibility for their actions in the first place.
I would ask that more men do their home teaching so that the few who are diligent can share the load more evenly.  And I would ask that fewer women have to forfeit having a marriage and children, because finding a man who will be dependable in their responsibilities is such a difficult task.   

I know that men are not always to blame in these situations, but I guess that is exactly my point.  More than "equality" or man and woman having the same responsibilities, I would like more dependability from each gender in performing well their roles.  To quote David O. McKay, "What E're thou art, act well thy part."  I think performing our roles, dependably, will bring the greatest joy and endear us to one another so that it is easier to cross gender roles in support of each other.

"In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners."  I know I feel the most supported when 1) my husband has completed the things I depend on him to do and then 2) reaches out to serve me by helping in my role.  When he uses his free time to help me mop the floor or to prepare a meal, I feel loved and want to give back.  And although I know he appreciates all the gender traditional tasks I perform, like the laundry or the dishes, I think my token contributions to the financial well being of the family and my judicious use of the resources he works hard to provide are among the most appreciated of the services I give.

The work of joy requires that both traditionally masculine and feminine tasks be completed... a clean house brings more joy than a disorderly home; nutrition brings more joy than malnutrition; financial security is less stressful then insecurity.  How these tasks are divided may be subjective and maliable but having a reliable partner to share in the work is necessary for the work to be joyous.  If a demand for equality has the unintended result of relieving one gender of their responsibilities and the other absorbing a greater share of the responsibilities, then I don't feel equality has been reached at  all... and certainly joy in the work is much harder to find.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

What I Remember about American Girl

American Girl is huge in the world of my nieces.  I guess rightly so, but the intrigue to me pales from what I remember them as during my youth.  I remember a catalogue coming in the mail with pages full of girls with their dolls.  The doll respresented characters from history, there were books about their experiences, but the coolest part:  there were period appropriate outfits to match the dolls!  What an opportunity to pretend.  I think Mattel really missed something when they retired these.

http://curtdanhauser.com/AG_Collecting/Dresses.html

Here's a link to the images of the dresses.   

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Thoughts on Guns, Marriage and the Constitution

I reread the constitution tonight. Actually, I'm not sure that I had ever just read the constitution but I had some thoughts running through my head and the constitution seemed like the best place to turn to sort through them. It helped, but it didn't organize them completely. I hoping that placing these thoughts into words, maybe it will all come together for me.



Here's what I believe:



I believe that a society can have righteous and unrighteous leaders.

I believe that an unrighteous leader is one who suppresses the needs/wants of the majority for the desires of a few.

I believe that preventing tyranny (or unrighteous leaders) was a strong motivator as the founding fathers drafted the constitution. I think it is interesting the steps they took to protect the people from its own governing body.

I believe that these steps included establishing a repbulic, creating checks and balances, term limitations, and due process.

I believe in the right to bear arms, not because we own a gun, want a gun, or because I even like them. I believe in the right because it allowed our forefathers to overcome the tyranny they felt oppressed by. They wanted to ensure that right to future generations. The freedom of speech and the right to assemble are also part of this protection. They work well for the majority of circumstances, but the right to bear arms is crucial for extreme circumstances. (I hope I never see the need, but I'm glad we have the right, if it is needed).

I believe most laws are cultural institutions created to reflect the values of the society in which those laws are prescribed.

As a voter, I believe I should vote according to my values. I need to share my voice so that the laws will best represent my values. If I am a dissenting voice, so be it.

I believe marriage is between a man and a woman. I want to live in a society that also believes this. I want the laws of the land to reflect this belief. I vote in accordance to this value.



Reflections on Prop 8:

So that brings me to my consideration. It seems to me that the judicial reversal of prop 8 is only partially a question of the morality of same sex marriage.


Here are the questions this law and its being repealed are really asking:
Does the judicial branch (one person) have the right to reverse laws enacted by the states that clearly represents the values of the society that established it (majority vote)?

Are the states limited in what they can allow or disallow in their state constitutions?


Is the California law a violation of the first amendment?

I imagine that this could be a debate that would go all the way to the supreme court.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

10 Surprises About Being a Parent

10) I didn't realize how much the sibling "rivalry" would affect me They compete, they're jealous of each other at the same time they adore and idolize one another. It is a very complex relationship. I see it, yet can't really do much about it.

9) No one told me all my stuff would grow feet. You can't put anything down without it moving when you're not looking. At first you have some tricks...like surfaces they can't reach, but then they keep growing so those surfaces diminish. How did all my shoes walk out of my closet? I'm pretty sure I haven't worn those red heels in years.

8) Some activities, no matter how fun they sound, couldn't possibly be fun enough to make up for all the effort required to participate. My friend invited us to go to the snow. It sounded fun until I began thinking through the steps... find/ buy warm & waterproof clothes, mittens, hat,snacks, pack diaper bag, wipes, is the car in good enough condition to make it? Hmm, my 6 month and 2 year old just aren't going to appreciate it that much.

7) I spend a lot of mental effort worrying about if I'm giving them everything they need.

6) Its really hard not to compare them to each other. They have different personalities and reach milestones at different places, but I'm really only familiar with how my first did it, so I always compare my second to that.

5) They are your comedians.

4) I remember growing up having to call for my mom multiple times before she would respond. Now I hear many times a day, "MOM, MOM, MOM, MOM"... when I finally figure out what she's asking for, I have to wonder why I'm being interrupted in the first place. Its no wonder mother's develop a delayed response time.

3) It really puts your body through the ringer. This one they tried to warn me about. I'm not the same as I was before kids. In some ways thats a positive, but suddenly, my typically weak abdominal muscles don't even have the strenght to help me up from a lying position. I'm just like my baby, I have to roll over and push myself up with my hands!

2) They have/need/want lots of stuff, and the surprising thing - I really want to give them those things. Opportunities to play on sports teams, music lessons, pre school, nutritious food, play kitchens, swing sets, bikes, strollers, fun treats, cute bedrooms. Mine are even too young to ask for things and still the list of things we have is long, the things we still need exists, and the want list... well, between me and the kids, that's pretty exhaustive.

1) Joy takes work. I had children because I believe they bring joy. This has proven true, but as I mopped the floor today it occured to me... things that bring real joy, take lots of work. Having a clean organized house - lots of work. Having a fit, healthy body - lots of work. Having happy well adjusted children - yeah, that seems to be a lot of work too (and there are still no guarantees)   I guess you just have to do the best you can and trust that everything will work out in the end. 

Sunday, November 4, 2012

How Much Would a Christlike Society Save Us?

Today I taught a Sunday School lesson to my rambuctious but lovable 9 year old boys.  It was on 4th Nephi Chapter 1 in the Book of Mormon.   Christ has just completed his visit to the people of ancient America and all are converted. The resulting society is peaceful and wonderful. I decided to take some of the social ills that were eliminated and quantify how much money that would save if we could eliminate those expenses in our society. The amounts were googled, so I'm not claiming they are scientific or even accurate, but they are interesting. Here's what I came up with:
Scripture What Changed in Christlike society What we do to try and Eliminate in our society Cost to our society
4 Nephi 1:16 no murderers Prisons 37 Billion
" no robbers Police 30 Billion
" no lyings Regulation 1750 Billion
" no tumults (riotings) England 2011 0.5 Billion
4 Nephi 1:2 no contentions Wars 663 Billion
4 Nephi 1:5 Sick healed, blind see, dead raised and all manner of miracles Healthcare 2400 Billion
The figures are all from 2011 and unless noted are for the US. The total comes out to be $4,910,000,000,000,000. That's 4.91 Quadrillion dollars. With that kind of savings we could pay off the national debt in less then a year. Hmmm. Its interesting to think about anyway.

The highlight of the class: when one of the boys completely sincerely exclaims,"Yeah, Math!"

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

I Need a Musical Montage, Please!

I struggle with change.  Does anybody else?  Growing up, I shared a room with my sister.  She would get a bug to rearrange furniture every year or so and I hated it.   I had adjusted to the status quo and I was happy with it.  Even now, when I find the system that works for me, I'm staunchly loyal to that process and change within it brings me anxiety.

Well, we are going through a big family change and I'm having anxiety.  My husband has changed employment status.  He has gone from "working for the man" to working for himself.  In many ways we have been helped in this transition.  His former employer has taken him on as a consultant, so he's still earning a portion of his salary, but there is still some financial loss at least for the immediate future, while he figures out how to acquire new clients and builds a name for himself. 

We were recently able to refinance our home and reduce our mortgage payment significantly... So, just as it seemed that our time of financial sacrifices were being rewarded and relieved, we again find ourselves in a position where we need to be extra cognizant of the budget's incomings and outgoings.   I am war weary. 

I think the financial dependence on somebody else has been the hardest sacrifice for me as a WAHM.  I know he wants to provide well for his family.  When I step back and look at the big picture, I think he is providing well for us.  That's not where I spend most of my time, though.  I'm in the trenches, making the day to day details work out.  And the vision gets pretty obscure down here as we wade through the dirty details of trial and error.  There are a lot of strategies that are tried and abandoned.  And those starts and stops are unsettling to me. 

You know the scene in the movie where the hero decides to leave his old ways and starts working really hard to achieve a goal.  They always show that change of heart in a series of scenes with an energetic song playing in the background...the musical montage.  I never liked the scene that follows where the selfish unsupporting wife leaves the hero just before he reaches his goal, and the he finds a prettier, more supportive love in the process?  You never feel sorry for that first wife.  Well, right now, I do.

See, the first wife never got to see the musical montage.  I want to be the good supportive wife, but I'm having a hard time looking past all the times before when plans have been made and then not followed through on.  Can somebody please just randomly start playing music so I'll know that things will work out... or is it time for me to stop delegating the bulk of my financial well being?  I'm pretty sure I would resent having to leave my children with somebody else, but it would relieve this unsettling dependence I feel.  My choice, right now, is to trust and hope, I hope its right.  

Saturday, October 20, 2012

The Recycling Rant

We are avid recyclers in this house.  We have the list of can do and can't do posted on our bulletin and we follow it.  I have a box upstairs and a bin downstairs, both dedicated to collecting the things we throw away that our city has deemed "recyclable."  I guess in this thing, you can say we're being sheep, because I'm really not sure why we go to all the trouble. 

I remember the day I first seriously questioned the value of recycling.  I was standing at the kitchen sink, water running as I rinsed my trash off in the sink.  I live in Arizona, a dry, arid desert, with lots of land and very little water.  Then I realized... here I am, spending my time and the scarce resource of our community, water, to protect the plentiful resource, land?!?!?  At that point, I kind of started resenting the time and effort it took to recycle.  For a while, my city made it up to me, they implemented a program called Recyclebank.  It would weigh your recycling when it was picked up and then apply points toward rewards based on the amount of recycling you did.  I cashed in on a few free museum passes.  It didn't alter my doubts that it was possible I was participating in a cultural ritual that had little beneficial impact on society, but at least the efforts resulted in something positive for my family.  I think their free trial period expired though, because they quit participating in the program. 

Well, that's about all there is to the story.  Sadly, I'd like to say that I've rebelliously quit recycling and I now put everything in the trash, but I haven't.  I still rinse my trash, put it in a container a little too small to hold all the big plastic jugs and hope that my community is able to resell it to somebody for a high enough premium to make up for costs it generates to pick up.   But something tells me the $300 I pay each year for trash pick up is what pays for that service... and if the community makes anything from the reselling, its nickels... but perhaps there are some enterprising businesses out there who have figured out how to create new products from this renewed raw material.  To this business, I reluctantly, but cheaply, dedicate my time.  To my children, I can naively claim to be doing what I could to improve their future. 

As I think about it, my attitude might move from resentful compliance to apathetic compliance if they just didn't ask me to rinse my trash.  I'm pretty sure they rinse it again after they get it anyway.  And, doing the dishes that I'll reuse is an ongoing task of its own, but doing the dishes for somebody else to reuse, is down right annoying! 

Friday, October 19, 2012

Is Whole Wheat the Solution?

There are so many ideas about nutrition out there.  Honestly, it is a very frustrating thing to me.  My husband's philosophy is, eat for calories and then take a vitamin pill.  The Weston A Price Foundation says you have to eat lots of grass fed meat, raw milk, and fermented grains, especially while young or pregnant.  The vegetarians believe that the way to fight off cancer is to keep you diet to less then 5% animal products.  There is the paleolithic diet, the Adkins diet, the SouthBeach diet, and many more I'm not aware of.  So with all the choices and differing opinions I can relate to Joseph Smith who felt very confused about all the different religions back in 1805. 

I've given the ideas of the diets, much reflection, probably not enough study (I can only do so much before I'm throwing up my arms in frustration) and some experimentation.

What we've tried: 
Vegetarianism.    We still had milk and eggs, but no meat.  We had lots of beans, rice, nuts.  We ate lots of chick peas.  My husband was the initiator on this.  I was freaked out because I had NO idea how to cook without using meat.  I did have fun experimenting with new foods and recipes.  This felt good in a lot of ways, but we were always hungry!  I think that is what did us in finally.  My husband would say, it was because of all the chick peas I was feeding him, "If I have to choose between bacon and chick peas, I choose bacon." 

Raw Milk:  This one came as I nursing two children, and I was always hungry.  The baby wasn't responding well to milk, but I was CRAVING it.  I needed to find a middle ground.  I read a post about nutrition during pregnancy and the writer recommended the Weston A Price diet.  They suggested raw whole milk.  I was intrigued.  The literature said many people didn't have the same negative reaction to raw milk that they might have to pasteurized, milk.  I was convinced I wanted to try it, so I drove an hour, with a screaming baby in the car to buy two gallons from a local farm.  It was the best milk I've ever had, and it really hit the spot so I think it was the right decision then, but I'm not convinced it is the right decision forever... here's why: 

Its inconvenient and expensive.  Expensive as in $10/gallon.  Inconvenient as in ...Did I say I drove an hour each way to get it?  Its also risky, since they don't pasteurize or homogenize the milk, its safety is very dependent on the health of the cows and the cleanliness of the dairy.  This adds to its inconvenience, because it makes it very difficult to find and apparently not legal in many states. There is only one farm in Phoenix that sells it.  Once I reached the farm, I realized from the lack of grass and the number of flys that entered my car when I opened the door, that these were not grass fed cows.  This farm uses organic feed, which is okay, but its one more bump in the supply chain... and that matters when you're foregoing standard food safety protocols. 

It was the best tasting milk I've ever had!  I like to think that some things that are good for you do taste good, and this milk tasted GOOD!  So maybe someday, when I live in a house with a big yard, I'll buy a milk cow, but until then, the raw milk might only be an occasional treat.

Now What?  Whole Wheat!

So, now I'm embarking on a new experiment where I'll mill the flour for our family's bread and then bake homemade bread.  I'll try the experiment until I have used 3, 5 gallon buckets of wheat.  Then we'll review and decide how it is best to move forward in our family.

A Reluctant Start:

Honestly, people who mill and make their own bread always seemed a bit too "relief society-ee" for me.  A wheat mill has been on our "purchase list" for years now mostly as an emergency preparedness/self reliance tool.  The holdback has been the combo of the mill and the fancy Bosch mixer is an investment of nearly $700 dollars.  I can buy a lot of bread with $700 and that bread doesn't come with the added burden of actually having to make it! 

Why 15 gallons of wheat? 

Well, I compromised. I'm foregoing the Bosch mixer and settled on a $160 wheat grinder. I figure at $1.25/loaf, once we've consumed the 15 gallons we'll have broken even (based on a very rough estimate) on the grinder.  After the 15 gallons, if I feel strongly that I want to integrate bread making into our families' lifestyle, then I'll invest in the Bosch.

How I feel now:

I've moved from a reluctant start to a hopeful beginning.  It seems that my self-reliance experiment might actually hold some solutions to my confustion with nutrition as well.  Here are the reasons why: 

First and foremost, there is that clause in the Word of wisdom that says,  "Nevertheless, wheat for the man." 

Secondly, there are my own observations... many of the families I've known that are blessed with shapely figures seem to consume abundantly a few things in their diets:  eggs, milk, and whole wheat bread.

Third, there is some research that indicates this effort might help with some of my nutritional frustration.  Research claims that freshly milled whole wheat contains 26 known vitamins and minerals.  It contains a high percentage of the bran and fiber.  All which helps fill you up with nutritious calories.  My toddler will eat of piece of this toast with honey, so we're off to a positive start.

So, I'm finally ready to try a "Wheat for the Man" experiment.   My hope is that by improving this one thing in our families' diet it might provide some additional lattitude for the other things that we do kind of poorly in our diets.  Maybe if I feed them a quality whole grain bread toast in the morning, it won't be soo bad when we have frozen pizza for dinner that night?  That's my feeling, anyway... if I can be more obedient in this one thing, the Lord can open up more knowledge and ideas so I can be better in other things.

Its interesting to me how my effort to simply be more obedient in self-reliance has already provided some spiritual perspective.  I find myself asking, could storing wheat and baking bread (what I considered to be the uncool Relief Society pasttime) really be a valuable key to the healthy eating of my family?  Not funny colored smoothies or carbohydrate deprived diets?  It seems almost too simple.  Maybe it is, but maybe it isn't.  We are told that sometimes the simpleness of the way is precisely what keeps us from being obedient to a commandment.   Perhaps I'll check in again with recipes I've tried and lessons learned.  At any rate, I'm planting my seed of faith and now I plan to experiment on the word, specifically the  words that say, "Wheat for the man!"

Friday, September 21, 2012

The Cloth Diaper Experiment

August marked the one year anniversary of the start of a lifestyle experiment for me... cloth diapering.  I broke one of my cardinal rules, I attended a "class."  It seems that is what they are calling tupperware inspired group shopping parties these days.  I tend to call it peer pressure marketing.  This one was pretty low pressure though, she ran through product pros/cons and answered questions.  We left with a web address for an online store, and I suspect I might have been one of the only buyers... but I opted to try them out for a few reasons:
  1. I'm always up for a good bargain.  Some of the best bargains I've ever found are when you trade a recurring expense for a larger one time expense.  Cloth diapers seemed to fit that formula.
  2. Even if I hated them, I figured having a stash of diapers was a good, emergency preparedness item.  The cloth diapers would fit from 6lbs to 30lbs, so I didn't have to worry about having the right size.
  3. They were kind of fun.  There were a variety of colors and prints so I was intrigued.
The Value:

So, here's the value props:

Most basic:   $2.20/diaper average .25 per disposable = 5 uses covered cost. 
My first investment:  $170  included:  12 prefolds, 6 bum genius pocket diapers, 2 covers, 1 small wet bag, 1 roll 200 flushable liners. 

The Breakeven:
I figured I needed to replace about 680 diapers to recoup my cost.  I estimated I could do that in about 4 months.  I committed to use cloth diapers until Christmas 2011.

The Learning Process:
At first my brain was abuzz.  I resolved first to establish a laundry routine.  The diapers could sit in a diaper pail for up to 72 hours.  That didn't divide very easily into a week; I would make Wednesday and Saturday my "wash" days.  I would use disposables on Saturdays and Sundays. 

Hurdle 1: 
This decision was also influenced with my first unexpected hurdle.  The first week, I smelled pee!  All day I was getting whiffs of the smelly kid in the carpool, only it was in MY house.  This was not acceptable.  I cleaned everything, put a deodorizer in the diaper pail, and then we tried again.  I would clean the bathrooms on Saturday when i did the diaper laundry put them away and have a CLEAN house for Sunday, and I wouldn't ever have to wash on Sunday. 

Hurdle 2: 
A rash!  My daughter never got rashes with disposable, and suddenly with the cloth she was getting rashes!  On top of that, the diapers were smelling April fresh coming out of the washer/dryer, but as soon as she peed in them they had a lovely ammonia smell.  Something wasn't working in my cleaning process.  The research began... reading the cloth diapering discussion boards gave me lots of ideas of things to try.  Hotter water, more detergent/less detergent, stripping, cleaning the washing machine basket; I tried lots of things.  Here's what finally worked for me:  For everything:  one rinse wash cycle on cold, one wash cycle on hot with 1 tbsp additive free detergent.  Then I sort, covers come out to air dry, used wipes and liners are pulled out for the trash, inserts and prefolds go for one more wash with extra rinse, this time with 1 tbsp of bleach. 

Were they a success?

After we overcame the hurdles, things have been pretty smooth sailing... I figured we've now used cloth for at least 800 changings.  I was convinced enough that I purchased some infant sized diapers when I learned I was expecting my son.  That being said, I've gradually decreased the cloth diapers I use... I don't use them at night anymore (daughter is too big now).  I now tend to use all  of my prefolds Tue, Wed, Thurs, then wash, then disposables the rest of the time.  One extra load of laundry a week, and that is sustainable for me.  So, in that I've been able to incorporate them into my lifestyle indefinitely, I would say success.  Its nice to know if I do run out of disposables, I don't have to run to the store.  I also like knowing if I need to cut back expenses I *could* eliminate the disposables.

What helped the success:

The LINERS!  My daughter was almost 18 months when I started, so she was eating plenty of solid foods with plenty of solid waste.  The liners make disposing of those solids much nicer.  (I actually dump all solids in the toilet, whether I'm using disposable or cloth - it just cuts down on the smell in the diaper pail).  They are 5 cents each, but if you don't end up flushing them, then you can wash and reuse. 

I determined I preferred the Rumparooz one size cover.  It works great for my 4 month old and my toddler.  I like the vertical snaps too, instead of the snaps in a horizontal row.  It just seems to give me more size control.  I just wish they had more gender neutral prints.  I asked last September they said it would be a month or too more... its been a year.  Great company, but I think that WAHM might be a little overwhelmed. 

The Snappi.  Nice quick way to hold the cloths together.  Definitely a step above the safety pins my mom had to use.

Not committing 100% to disposable or to cloth!  I think I needed to allow myself the flexibility to use the cloth when appropriate and the disposable when they would be more convenient.

I changed diaper pails early on too... the large trash with the foot pedal I use now seemed to contain odors better than the diaperchamp. 

The Fails: 

I very quickly determined I was not a fan of changing cloth diapers on the go and hauling the refuge around in my diaper bag.  It may not have been completely accidental that the wet bag only made one voyage before it got lost in my trunk.

The infant size diapers were a fail for my baby, too.  My little guy came out too big, and he just soaked through them too fast.  With two in diapers, I already felt like I was changing diapers all day long.  Now that he's in the bigger size things are running much more smoothly.  If anybody wants to rent my 20 infant size diapers... they are barely used. 

The pocket diapers started out a win.  They were a little easier for the already hesitant husband.  They also seemed to work for all night absorbency.  Sadly, they were also the cause of most of the headaches in laundering.  The inserts just didn't seem to clean as easily and the added cost meant I was more concerned about maintaining their warranty.  So they were good at the beginning, but now my go to are the prefolds.  They just seem to come with a lot of maintnance to keep them performing right. 

The Myths:

"You child will prefer the cloth diapers"... my child doesn't seem to care if she is in cloth or disposable.  But then again, my child doesn't seem to care if she is wet or dry.  She is just pretty passive about the whole diaper thing.  My son seems to be much more opinionated about his diaper situation so we'll see if he ever is able to verbalize a preference.

"Your child will potty train faster"  I think this was one of my big incentives for trying cloth diapers.  Well, so far no go... at least not in the porcelain throne I would like her to go in.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

My Love Hate Relationship with Facebook

It took me a long time to join the ranks of Facebook users.  It just seemed like another "thing" to pull me away from the many tasks I am still trying to get around to doing.  It wasn't until a client suggested that I was missing many valuable opportunities to share my expertise in health insurance that I finally succumbed.   He was right, I have had many opportunities to share my knowledge and hopefully help people who are confused or frustrated about health insurance understand and choose just a little more wisely.  I love Facebook for that reason.  I love it for the window it has given me to the personality of some members of my husband's family who all live far away.  I recognize it as unparalleled tool for reaching out to my network and finding answers to questions, recommendations, referrals, etc.  It has also given me exposure to some interesting thoughts and ideas.  So, for these reasons, I am admittedly, a Facebook regular. 

My attendance, however, is not without reservation.  Here are the things I hate about Facebook:

-  Thinking to myself, "Did they really just post that?"  This is what crosses my mind when someone shares the dates they'll  be out of town, when they announce that they've just bounced multiple checks, or when they complain about their job.  This stuff is broadcast to lots of people with lots of backgrounds and values.  If you wouldn't stand up in front of a congregation at church and say something, I wouldn't suspect you'ld really want to share it on Facebook.

- Everything I say is broadcast to so many people.  I have to be careful what I say.  I can have a smart mouth, and there have been a couple of times where I've really wanted to razz somebody for something they've posted.  I've had to keep my wit in check though, because, with every post I have to remember I'm representing myself in a professional light.  Is this something I'm okay having all my current and future clients know I said? 

- It causes heartache.  I have seen friends renounce my religion, watched acquaintances battle cancer, and family members go through the crisis of losing a loved one.  These are painful things for me, and sometimes fewer details are easier to manage.  The problem isn't that I don't care, rather that I do, then I find myself caring all day long.  This kind of stuff keeps me up at night. 

- Can you say, overshare?  I don't care what song someone just listened to or what game they just played.  I don't need to know how many times my little brother tells his girlfriend he loves her.  I figured out by necessity how to limit what posts I saw from some people. 

- It is very difficult to control what others will reveal about you.  One of the biggest hurdles I had to overcome with my brother's girlfriend was a bikini photo of her at the lake that one of her friends had posted.  In "normal" life I would have never known the photo existed and both of us would have likely preferred it that way, but thanks to her friend tagging her in the photo it shows up on my feed.  I try and keep my children's names off the internet, and I do find that occasionally I have to police when others might have accidentally disclosed them.

-  "I'm just part of the Facebook crowd."  This is how a good friend of mine recently described her hurt about not being notified personally of a tragedy going on in a family member's life.  In her mind it was diminutive, it wasn't enough for a real relationship.  These miscommunications are so frequent and public; comments are misunderstood.  As our relationships take on this digital component, how people establish rank in relationships will be interesting... can we have a "best" Facebook friend?

One other surprise, I would classify as the rise of the Facebook "popular."  These are the frequent posters who actually share quite a bit of their life on Facebook.  I am surprised to have realized I have come to feel a stronger bond with some merely through their activity on Facebook.    I'll call them Facebook popular.  The irony is, because, I'm largely silent, these people likely feel no increased kinship toward me, but I feel like I know them, their joys, their challenges, and in new ways their sense of humor... in many cases better than I ever knew them as face to face acquaintances.   So to my new "popular" friends, congratulations on successfully diving into social media.  You have gained notoriety through it.   I am one of your silent observers.  Thanks for giving me your trust, especially, when Facebook provides so many vulnerabilities.  I will try to be respectful of that trust and not use the information you post to hurt or demean you.  I hope all others will be equally respectful. 

Why I'm Writing


Hmm, I'm starting another blog. Perhaps it will go the way of my family blog, sadly neglected. But for now, I want a venue to write my thoughts and opinions that won't in any way be incriminating my family as sharing my thoughts and opinions.

There is so much happening in the world today and it requires some deep thinking to truly decide what you believe and how you feel. Writing is a tool that allows you to reach higher levels of critical thinking, so that will be the primary function of this blog. With that said, I reserve the right to change my opinions, to not know all the facts, and to expose my biases. Those are the risks I take when I open my opinions up to the world. The risk is taken, though, with the hope, that perhaps, some of those opinions and thoughts may help teach and inspire others who may be facing similar questions and challenges.

What will I write about? Probably a little bit about relationships, a bit about politics, I'll probably write a lot about health insurance as I am a health insurance broker. I'm a mother too, so I may write about lessons learned, pending problems and blessings given. I probably won't write about family vacations, day to day events or post pictures of all the fun activities we do. That's for the family blog. This one is mine, for my mind and my thoughts.