I struggle with change. Does anybody else? Growing up, I shared a room with my sister. She would get a bug to rearrange furniture every year or so and I hated it. I had adjusted to the status quo and I was happy with it. Even now, when I find the system that works for me, I'm staunchly loyal to that process and change within it brings me anxiety.
Well, we are going through a big family change and I'm having anxiety. My husband has changed employment status. He has gone from "working for the man" to working for himself. In many ways we have been helped in this transition. His former employer has taken him on as a consultant, so he's still earning a portion of his salary, but there is still some financial loss at least for the immediate future, while he figures out how to acquire new clients and builds a name for himself.
We were recently able to refinance our home and reduce our mortgage payment significantly... So, just as it seemed that our time of financial sacrifices were being rewarded and relieved, we again find ourselves in a position where we need to be extra cognizant of the budget's incomings and outgoings. I am war weary.
I think the financial dependence on somebody else has been the hardest sacrifice for me as a WAHM. I know he wants to provide well for his family. When I step back and look at the big picture, I think he is providing well for us. That's not where I spend most of my time, though. I'm in the trenches, making the day to day details work out. And the vision gets pretty obscure down here as we wade through the dirty details of trial and error. There are a lot of strategies that are tried and abandoned. And those starts and stops are unsettling to me.
You know the scene in the movie where the hero decides to leave his old ways and starts working really hard to achieve a goal. They always show that change of heart in a series of scenes with an energetic song playing in the background...the musical montage. I never liked the scene that follows where the selfish unsupporting wife leaves the hero just before he reaches his goal, and the he finds a prettier, more supportive love in the process? You never feel sorry for that first wife. Well, right now, I do.
See, the first wife never got to see the musical montage. I want to be the good supportive wife, but I'm having a hard time looking past all the times before when plans have been made and then not followed through on. Can somebody please just randomly start playing music so I'll know that things will work out... or is it time for me to stop delegating the bulk of my financial well being? I'm pretty sure I would resent having to leave my children with somebody else, but it would relieve this unsettling dependence I feel. My choice, right now, is to trust and hope, I hope its right.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Saturday, October 20, 2012
The Recycling Rant
We are avid recyclers in this house. We have the list of can do and can't do posted on our bulletin and we follow it. I have a box upstairs and a bin downstairs, both dedicated to collecting the things we throw away that our city has deemed "recyclable." I guess in this thing, you can say we're being sheep, because I'm really not sure why we go to all the trouble.
I remember the day I first seriously questioned the value of recycling. I was standing at the kitchen sink, water running as I rinsed my trash off in the sink. I live in Arizona, a dry, arid desert, with lots of land and very little water. Then I realized... here I am, spending my time and the scarce resource of our community, water, to protect the plentiful resource, land?!?!? At that point, I kind of started resenting the time and effort it took to recycle. For a while, my city made it up to me, they implemented a program called Recyclebank. It would weigh your recycling when it was picked up and then apply points toward rewards based on the amount of recycling you did. I cashed in on a few free museum passes. It didn't alter my doubts that it was possible I was participating in a cultural ritual that had little beneficial impact on society, but at least the efforts resulted in something positive for my family. I think their free trial period expired though, because they quit participating in the program.
Well, that's about all there is to the story. Sadly, I'd like to say that I've rebelliously quit recycling and I now put everything in the trash, but I haven't. I still rinse my trash, put it in a container a little too small to hold all the big plastic jugs and hope that my community is able to resell it to somebody for a high enough premium to make up for costs it generates to pick up. But something tells me the $300 I pay each year for trash pick up is what pays for that service... and if the community makes anything from the reselling, its nickels... but perhaps there are some enterprising businesses out there who have figured out how to create new products from this renewed raw material. To this business, I reluctantly, but cheaply, dedicate my time. To my children, I can naively claim to be doing what I could to improve their future.
As I think about it, my attitude might move from resentful compliance to apathetic compliance if they just didn't ask me to rinse my trash. I'm pretty sure they rinse it again after they get it anyway. And, doing the dishes that I'll reuse is an ongoing task of its own, but doing the dishes for somebody else to reuse, is down right annoying!
I remember the day I first seriously questioned the value of recycling. I was standing at the kitchen sink, water running as I rinsed my trash off in the sink. I live in Arizona, a dry, arid desert, with lots of land and very little water. Then I realized... here I am, spending my time and the scarce resource of our community, water, to protect the plentiful resource, land?!?!? At that point, I kind of started resenting the time and effort it took to recycle. For a while, my city made it up to me, they implemented a program called Recyclebank. It would weigh your recycling when it was picked up and then apply points toward rewards based on the amount of recycling you did. I cashed in on a few free museum passes. It didn't alter my doubts that it was possible I was participating in a cultural ritual that had little beneficial impact on society, but at least the efforts resulted in something positive for my family. I think their free trial period expired though, because they quit participating in the program.
Well, that's about all there is to the story. Sadly, I'd like to say that I've rebelliously quit recycling and I now put everything in the trash, but I haven't. I still rinse my trash, put it in a container a little too small to hold all the big plastic jugs and hope that my community is able to resell it to somebody for a high enough premium to make up for costs it generates to pick up. But something tells me the $300 I pay each year for trash pick up is what pays for that service... and if the community makes anything from the reselling, its nickels... but perhaps there are some enterprising businesses out there who have figured out how to create new products from this renewed raw material. To this business, I reluctantly, but cheaply, dedicate my time. To my children, I can naively claim to be doing what I could to improve their future.
As I think about it, my attitude might move from resentful compliance to apathetic compliance if they just didn't ask me to rinse my trash. I'm pretty sure they rinse it again after they get it anyway. And, doing the dishes that I'll reuse is an ongoing task of its own, but doing the dishes for somebody else to reuse, is down right annoying!
Friday, October 19, 2012
Is Whole Wheat the Solution?
There are so many ideas about nutrition out there. Honestly, it is a very frustrating thing to me. My husband's philosophy is, eat for calories and then take a vitamin pill. The Weston A Price Foundation says you have to eat lots of grass fed meat, raw milk, and fermented grains, especially while young or pregnant. The vegetarians believe that the way to fight off cancer is to keep you diet to less then 5% animal products. There is the paleolithic diet, the Adkins diet, the SouthBeach diet, and many more I'm not aware of. So with all the choices and differing opinions I can relate to Joseph Smith who felt very confused about all the different religions back in 1805.
I've given the ideas of the diets, much reflection, probably not enough study (I can only do so much before I'm throwing up my arms in frustration) and some experimentation.
What we've tried:
Vegetarianism. We still had milk and eggs, but no meat. We had lots of beans, rice, nuts. We ate lots of chick peas. My husband was the initiator on this. I was freaked out because I had NO idea how to cook without using meat. I did have fun experimenting with new foods and recipes. This felt good in a lot of ways, but we were always hungry! I think that is what did us in finally. My husband would say, it was because of all the chick peas I was feeding him, "If I have to choose between bacon and chick peas, I choose bacon."
Raw Milk: This one came as I nursing two children, and I was always hungry. The baby wasn't responding well to milk, but I was CRAVING it. I needed to find a middle ground. I read a post about nutrition during pregnancy and the writer recommended the Weston A Price diet. They suggested raw whole milk. I was intrigued. The literature said many people didn't have the same negative reaction to raw milk that they might have to pasteurized, milk. I was convinced I wanted to try it, so I drove an hour, with a screaming baby in the car to buy two gallons from a local farm. It was the best milk I've ever had, and it really hit the spot so I think it was the right decision then, but I'm not convinced it is the right decision forever... here's why:
Its inconvenient and expensive. Expensive as in $10/gallon. Inconvenient as in ...Did I say I drove an hour each way to get it? Its also risky, since they don't pasteurize or homogenize the milk, its safety is very dependent on the health of the cows and the cleanliness of the dairy. This adds to its inconvenience, because it makes it very difficult to find and apparently not legal in many states. There is only one farm in Phoenix that sells it. Once I reached the farm, I realized from the lack of grass and the number of flys that entered my car when I opened the door, that these were not grass fed cows. This farm uses organic feed, which is okay, but its one more bump in the supply chain... and that matters when you're foregoing standard food safety protocols.
It was the best tasting milk I've ever had! I like to think that some things that are good for you do taste good, and this milk tasted GOOD! So maybe someday, when I live in a house with a big yard, I'll buy a milk cow, but until then, the raw milk might only be an occasional treat.
Now What? Whole Wheat!
So, now I'm embarking on a new experiment where I'll mill the flour for our family's bread and then bake homemade bread. I'll try the experiment until I have used 3, 5 gallon buckets of wheat. Then we'll review and decide how it is best to move forward in our family.
A Reluctant Start:
Honestly, people who mill and make their own bread always seemed a bit too "relief society-ee" for me. A wheat mill has been on our "purchase list" for years now mostly as an emergency preparedness/self reliance tool. The holdback has been the combo of the mill and the fancy Bosch mixer is an investment of nearly $700 dollars. I can buy a lot of bread with $700 and that bread doesn't come with the added burden of actually having to make it!
Why 15 gallons of wheat?
Well, I compromised. I'm foregoing the Bosch mixer and settled on a $160 wheat grinder. I figure at $1.25/loaf, once we've consumed the 15 gallons we'll have broken even (based on a very rough estimate) on the grinder. After the 15 gallons, if I feel strongly that I want to integrate bread making into our families' lifestyle, then I'll invest in the Bosch.
How I feel now:
I've moved from a reluctant start to a hopeful beginning. It seems that my self-reliance experiment might actually hold some solutions to my confustion with nutrition as well. Here are the reasons why:
First and foremost, there is that clause in the Word of wisdom that says, "Nevertheless, wheat for the man."
Secondly, there are my own observations... many of the families I've known that are blessed with shapely figures seem to consume abundantly a few things in their diets: eggs, milk, and whole wheat bread.
Third, there is some research that indicates this effort might help with some of my nutritional frustration. Research claims that freshly milled whole wheat contains 26 known vitamins and minerals. It contains a high percentage of the bran and fiber. All which helps fill you up with nutritious calories. My toddler will eat of piece of this toast with honey, so we're off to a positive start.
So, I'm finally ready to try a "Wheat for the Man" experiment. My hope is that by improving this one thing in our families' diet it might provide some additional lattitude for the other things that we do kind of poorly in our diets. Maybe if I feed them a quality whole grain bread toast in the morning, it won't be soo bad when we have frozen pizza for dinner that night? That's my feeling, anyway... if I can be more obedient in this one thing, the Lord can open up more knowledge and ideas so I can be better in other things.
Its interesting to me how my effort to simply be more obedient in self-reliance has already provided some spiritual perspective. I find myself asking, could storing wheat and baking bread (what I considered to be the uncool Relief Society pasttime) really be a valuable key to the healthy eating of my family? Not funny colored smoothies or carbohydrate deprived diets? It seems almost too simple. Maybe it is, but maybe it isn't. We are told that sometimes the simpleness of the way is precisely what keeps us from being obedient to a commandment. Perhaps I'll check in again with recipes I've tried and lessons learned. At any rate, I'm planting my seed of faith and now I plan to experiment on the word, specifically the words that say, "Wheat for the man!"
I've given the ideas of the diets, much reflection, probably not enough study (I can only do so much before I'm throwing up my arms in frustration) and some experimentation.
What we've tried:
Vegetarianism. We still had milk and eggs, but no meat. We had lots of beans, rice, nuts. We ate lots of chick peas. My husband was the initiator on this. I was freaked out because I had NO idea how to cook without using meat. I did have fun experimenting with new foods and recipes. This felt good in a lot of ways, but we were always hungry! I think that is what did us in finally. My husband would say, it was because of all the chick peas I was feeding him, "If I have to choose between bacon and chick peas, I choose bacon."
Raw Milk: This one came as I nursing two children, and I was always hungry. The baby wasn't responding well to milk, but I was CRAVING it. I needed to find a middle ground. I read a post about nutrition during pregnancy and the writer recommended the Weston A Price diet. They suggested raw whole milk. I was intrigued. The literature said many people didn't have the same negative reaction to raw milk that they might have to pasteurized, milk. I was convinced I wanted to try it, so I drove an hour, with a screaming baby in the car to buy two gallons from a local farm. It was the best milk I've ever had, and it really hit the spot so I think it was the right decision then, but I'm not convinced it is the right decision forever... here's why:
Its inconvenient and expensive. Expensive as in $10/gallon. Inconvenient as in ...Did I say I drove an hour each way to get it? Its also risky, since they don't pasteurize or homogenize the milk, its safety is very dependent on the health of the cows and the cleanliness of the dairy. This adds to its inconvenience, because it makes it very difficult to find and apparently not legal in many states. There is only one farm in Phoenix that sells it. Once I reached the farm, I realized from the lack of grass and the number of flys that entered my car when I opened the door, that these were not grass fed cows. This farm uses organic feed, which is okay, but its one more bump in the supply chain... and that matters when you're foregoing standard food safety protocols.
It was the best tasting milk I've ever had! I like to think that some things that are good for you do taste good, and this milk tasted GOOD! So maybe someday, when I live in a house with a big yard, I'll buy a milk cow, but until then, the raw milk might only be an occasional treat.
Now What? Whole Wheat!
So, now I'm embarking on a new experiment where I'll mill the flour for our family's bread and then bake homemade bread. I'll try the experiment until I have used 3, 5 gallon buckets of wheat. Then we'll review and decide how it is best to move forward in our family.
A Reluctant Start:
Honestly, people who mill and make their own bread always seemed a bit too "relief society-ee" for me. A wheat mill has been on our "purchase list" for years now mostly as an emergency preparedness/self reliance tool. The holdback has been the combo of the mill and the fancy Bosch mixer is an investment of nearly $700 dollars. I can buy a lot of bread with $700 and that bread doesn't come with the added burden of actually having to make it!
Why 15 gallons of wheat?
Well, I compromised. I'm foregoing the Bosch mixer and settled on a $160 wheat grinder. I figure at $1.25/loaf, once we've consumed the 15 gallons we'll have broken even (based on a very rough estimate) on the grinder. After the 15 gallons, if I feel strongly that I want to integrate bread making into our families' lifestyle, then I'll invest in the Bosch.
How I feel now:
I've moved from a reluctant start to a hopeful beginning. It seems that my self-reliance experiment might actually hold some solutions to my confustion with nutrition as well. Here are the reasons why:
First and foremost, there is that clause in the Word of wisdom that says, "Nevertheless, wheat for the man."
Secondly, there are my own observations... many of the families I've known that are blessed with shapely figures seem to consume abundantly a few things in their diets: eggs, milk, and whole wheat bread.
Third, there is some research that indicates this effort might help with some of my nutritional frustration. Research claims that freshly milled whole wheat contains 26 known vitamins and minerals. It contains a high percentage of the bran and fiber. All which helps fill you up with nutritious calories. My toddler will eat of piece of this toast with honey, so we're off to a positive start.
So, I'm finally ready to try a "Wheat for the Man" experiment. My hope is that by improving this one thing in our families' diet it might provide some additional lattitude for the other things that we do kind of poorly in our diets. Maybe if I feed them a quality whole grain bread toast in the morning, it won't be soo bad when we have frozen pizza for dinner that night? That's my feeling, anyway... if I can be more obedient in this one thing, the Lord can open up more knowledge and ideas so I can be better in other things.
Its interesting to me how my effort to simply be more obedient in self-reliance has already provided some spiritual perspective. I find myself asking, could storing wheat and baking bread (what I considered to be the uncool Relief Society pasttime) really be a valuable key to the healthy eating of my family? Not funny colored smoothies or carbohydrate deprived diets? It seems almost too simple. Maybe it is, but maybe it isn't. We are told that sometimes the simpleness of the way is precisely what keeps us from being obedient to a commandment. Perhaps I'll check in again with recipes I've tried and lessons learned. At any rate, I'm planting my seed of faith and now I plan to experiment on the word, specifically the words that say, "Wheat for the man!"
Friday, September 21, 2012
The Cloth Diaper Experiment
August marked the one year anniversary of the start of a lifestyle experiment for me... cloth diapering. I broke one of my cardinal rules, I attended a "class." It seems that is what they are calling tupperware inspired group shopping parties these days. I tend to call it peer pressure marketing. This one was pretty low pressure though, she ran through product pros/cons and answered questions. We left with a web address for an online store, and I suspect I might have been one of the only buyers... but I opted to try them out for a few reasons:
So, here's the value props:
Most basic: $2.20/diaper average .25 per disposable = 5 uses covered cost.
My first investment: $170 included: 12 prefolds, 6 bum genius pocket diapers, 2 covers, 1 small wet bag, 1 roll 200 flushable liners.
The Breakeven:
I figured I needed to replace about 680 diapers to recoup my cost. I estimated I could do that in about 4 months. I committed to use cloth diapers until Christmas 2011.
The Learning Process:
At first my brain was abuzz. I resolved first to establish a laundry routine. The diapers could sit in a diaper pail for up to 72 hours. That didn't divide very easily into a week; I would make Wednesday and Saturday my "wash" days. I would use disposables on Saturdays and Sundays.
Hurdle 1:
This decision was also influenced with my first unexpected hurdle. The first week, I smelled pee! All day I was getting whiffs of the smelly kid in the carpool, only it was in MY house. This was not acceptable. I cleaned everything, put a deodorizer in the diaper pail, and then we tried again. I would clean the bathrooms on Saturday when i did the diaper laundry put them away and have a CLEAN house for Sunday, and I wouldn't ever have to wash on Sunday.
Hurdle 2:
A rash! My daughter never got rashes with disposable, and suddenly with the cloth she was getting rashes! On top of that, the diapers were smelling April fresh coming out of the washer/dryer, but as soon as she peed in them they had a lovely ammonia smell. Something wasn't working in my cleaning process. The research began... reading the cloth diapering discussion boards gave me lots of ideas of things to try. Hotter water, more detergent/less detergent, stripping, cleaning the washing machine basket; I tried lots of things. Here's what finally worked for me: For everything: one rinse wash cycle on cold, one wash cycle on hot with 1 tbsp additive free detergent. Then I sort, covers come out to air dry, used wipes and liners are pulled out for the trash, inserts and prefolds go for one more wash with extra rinse, this time with 1 tbsp of bleach.
Were they a success?
After we overcame the hurdles, things have been pretty smooth sailing... I figured we've now used cloth for at least 800 changings. I was convinced enough that I purchased some infant sized diapers when I learned I was expecting my son. That being said, I've gradually decreased the cloth diapers I use... I don't use them at night anymore (daughter is too big now). I now tend to use all of my prefolds Tue, Wed, Thurs, then wash, then disposables the rest of the time. One extra load of laundry a week, and that is sustainable for me. So, in that I've been able to incorporate them into my lifestyle indefinitely, I would say success. Its nice to know if I do run out of disposables, I don't have to run to the store. I also like knowing if I need to cut back expenses I *could* eliminate the disposables.
What helped the success:
The LINERS! My daughter was almost 18 months when I started, so she was eating plenty of solid foods with plenty of solid waste. The liners make disposing of those solids much nicer. (I actually dump all solids in the toilet, whether I'm using disposable or cloth - it just cuts down on the smell in the diaper pail). They are 5 cents each, but if you don't end up flushing them, then you can wash and reuse.
I determined I preferred the Rumparooz one size cover. It works great for my 4 month old and my toddler. I like the vertical snaps too, instead of the snaps in a horizontal row. It just seems to give me more size control. I just wish they had more gender neutral prints. I asked last September they said it would be a month or too more... its been a year. Great company, but I think that WAHM might be a little overwhelmed.
The Snappi. Nice quick way to hold the cloths together. Definitely a step above the safety pins my mom had to use.
Not committing 100% to disposable or to cloth! I think I needed to allow myself the flexibility to use the cloth when appropriate and the disposable when they would be more convenient.
I changed diaper pails early on too... the large trash with the foot pedal I use now seemed to contain odors better than the diaperchamp.
The Fails:
I very quickly determined I was not a fan of changing cloth diapers on the go and hauling the refuge around in my diaper bag. It may not have been completely accidental that the wet bag only made one voyage before it got lost in my trunk.
The infant size diapers were a fail for my baby, too. My little guy came out too big, and he just soaked through them too fast. With two in diapers, I already felt like I was changing diapers all day long. Now that he's in the bigger size things are running much more smoothly. If anybody wants to rent my 20 infant size diapers... they are barely used.
The pocket diapers started out a win. They were a little easier for the already hesitant husband. They also seemed to work for all night absorbency. Sadly, they were also the cause of most of the headaches in laundering. The inserts just didn't seem to clean as easily and the added cost meant I was more concerned about maintaining their warranty. So they were good at the beginning, but now my go to are the prefolds. They just seem to come with a lot of maintnance to keep them performing right.
The Myths:
"You child will prefer the cloth diapers"... my child doesn't seem to care if she is in cloth or disposable. But then again, my child doesn't seem to care if she is wet or dry. She is just pretty passive about the whole diaper thing. My son seems to be much more opinionated about his diaper situation so we'll see if he ever is able to verbalize a preference.
"Your child will potty train faster" I think this was one of my big incentives for trying cloth diapers. Well, so far no go... at least not in the porcelain throne I would like her to go in.
- I'm always up for a good bargain. Some of the best bargains I've ever found are when you trade a recurring expense for a larger one time expense. Cloth diapers seemed to fit that formula.
- Even if I hated them, I figured having a stash of diapers was a good, emergency preparedness item. The cloth diapers would fit from 6lbs to 30lbs, so I didn't have to worry about having the right size.
- They were kind of fun. There were a variety of colors and prints so I was intrigued.
So, here's the value props:
Most basic: $2.20/diaper average .25 per disposable = 5 uses covered cost.
My first investment: $170 included: 12 prefolds, 6 bum genius pocket diapers, 2 covers, 1 small wet bag, 1 roll 200 flushable liners.
The Breakeven:
I figured I needed to replace about 680 diapers to recoup my cost. I estimated I could do that in about 4 months. I committed to use cloth diapers until Christmas 2011.
The Learning Process:
At first my brain was abuzz. I resolved first to establish a laundry routine. The diapers could sit in a diaper pail for up to 72 hours. That didn't divide very easily into a week; I would make Wednesday and Saturday my "wash" days. I would use disposables on Saturdays and Sundays.
Hurdle 1:
This decision was also influenced with my first unexpected hurdle. The first week, I smelled pee! All day I was getting whiffs of the smelly kid in the carpool, only it was in MY house. This was not acceptable. I cleaned everything, put a deodorizer in the diaper pail, and then we tried again. I would clean the bathrooms on Saturday when i did the diaper laundry put them away and have a CLEAN house for Sunday, and I wouldn't ever have to wash on Sunday.
Hurdle 2:
A rash! My daughter never got rashes with disposable, and suddenly with the cloth she was getting rashes! On top of that, the diapers were smelling April fresh coming out of the washer/dryer, but as soon as she peed in them they had a lovely ammonia smell. Something wasn't working in my cleaning process. The research began... reading the cloth diapering discussion boards gave me lots of ideas of things to try. Hotter water, more detergent/less detergent, stripping, cleaning the washing machine basket; I tried lots of things. Here's what finally worked for me: For everything: one rinse wash cycle on cold, one wash cycle on hot with 1 tbsp additive free detergent. Then I sort, covers come out to air dry, used wipes and liners are pulled out for the trash, inserts and prefolds go for one more wash with extra rinse, this time with 1 tbsp of bleach.
Were they a success?
After we overcame the hurdles, things have been pretty smooth sailing... I figured we've now used cloth for at least 800 changings. I was convinced enough that I purchased some infant sized diapers when I learned I was expecting my son. That being said, I've gradually decreased the cloth diapers I use... I don't use them at night anymore (daughter is too big now). I now tend to use all of my prefolds Tue, Wed, Thurs, then wash, then disposables the rest of the time. One extra load of laundry a week, and that is sustainable for me. So, in that I've been able to incorporate them into my lifestyle indefinitely, I would say success. Its nice to know if I do run out of disposables, I don't have to run to the store. I also like knowing if I need to cut back expenses I *could* eliminate the disposables.
What helped the success:
The LINERS! My daughter was almost 18 months when I started, so she was eating plenty of solid foods with plenty of solid waste. The liners make disposing of those solids much nicer. (I actually dump all solids in the toilet, whether I'm using disposable or cloth - it just cuts down on the smell in the diaper pail). They are 5 cents each, but if you don't end up flushing them, then you can wash and reuse.
I determined I preferred the Rumparooz one size cover. It works great for my 4 month old and my toddler. I like the vertical snaps too, instead of the snaps in a horizontal row. It just seems to give me more size control. I just wish they had more gender neutral prints. I asked last September they said it would be a month or too more... its been a year. Great company, but I think that WAHM might be a little overwhelmed.
The Snappi. Nice quick way to hold the cloths together. Definitely a step above the safety pins my mom had to use.
Not committing 100% to disposable or to cloth! I think I needed to allow myself the flexibility to use the cloth when appropriate and the disposable when they would be more convenient.
I changed diaper pails early on too... the large trash with the foot pedal I use now seemed to contain odors better than the diaperchamp.
The Fails:
I very quickly determined I was not a fan of changing cloth diapers on the go and hauling the refuge around in my diaper bag. It may not have been completely accidental that the wet bag only made one voyage before it got lost in my trunk.
The infant size diapers were a fail for my baby, too. My little guy came out too big, and he just soaked through them too fast. With two in diapers, I already felt like I was changing diapers all day long. Now that he's in the bigger size things are running much more smoothly. If anybody wants to rent my 20 infant size diapers... they are barely used.
The pocket diapers started out a win. They were a little easier for the already hesitant husband. They also seemed to work for all night absorbency. Sadly, they were also the cause of most of the headaches in laundering. The inserts just didn't seem to clean as easily and the added cost meant I was more concerned about maintaining their warranty. So they were good at the beginning, but now my go to are the prefolds. They just seem to come with a lot of maintnance to keep them performing right.
The Myths:
"You child will prefer the cloth diapers"... my child doesn't seem to care if she is in cloth or disposable. But then again, my child doesn't seem to care if she is wet or dry. She is just pretty passive about the whole diaper thing. My son seems to be much more opinionated about his diaper situation so we'll see if he ever is able to verbalize a preference.
"Your child will potty train faster" I think this was one of my big incentives for trying cloth diapers. Well, so far no go... at least not in the porcelain throne I would like her to go in.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
My Love Hate Relationship with Facebook
It took me a long time to join the ranks of Facebook users. It just seemed like another "thing" to pull me away from the many tasks I am still trying to get around to doing. It wasn't until a client suggested that I was missing many valuable opportunities to share my expertise in health insurance that I finally succumbed. He was right, I have had many opportunities to share my knowledge and hopefully help people who are confused or frustrated about health insurance understand and choose just a little more wisely. I love Facebook for that reason. I love it for the window it has given me to the personality of some members of my husband's family who all live far away. I recognize it as unparalleled tool for reaching out to my network and finding answers to questions, recommendations, referrals, etc. It has also given me exposure to some interesting thoughts and ideas. So, for these reasons, I am admittedly, a Facebook regular.
My attendance, however, is not without reservation. Here are the things I hate about Facebook:
- Thinking to myself, "Did they really just post that?" This is what crosses my mind when someone shares the dates they'll be out of town, when they announce that they've just bounced multiple checks, or when they complain about their job. This stuff is broadcast to lots of people with lots of backgrounds and values. If you wouldn't stand up in front of a congregation at church and say something, I wouldn't suspect you'ld really want to share it on Facebook.
- Everything I say is broadcast to so many people. I have to be careful what I say. I can have a smart mouth, and there have been a couple of times where I've really wanted to razz somebody for something they've posted. I've had to keep my wit in check though, because, with every post I have to remember I'm representing myself in a professional light. Is this something I'm okay having all my current and future clients know I said?
- It causes heartache. I have seen friends renounce my religion, watched acquaintances battle cancer, and family members go through the crisis of losing a loved one. These are painful things for me, and sometimes fewer details are easier to manage. The problem isn't that I don't care, rather that I do, then I find myself caring all day long. This kind of stuff keeps me up at night.
- Can you say, overshare? I don't care what song someone just listened to or what game they just played. I don't need to know how many times my little brother tells his girlfriend he loves her. I figured out by necessity how to limit what posts I saw from some people.
- It is very difficult to control what others will reveal about you. One of the biggest hurdles I had to overcome with my brother's girlfriend was a bikini photo of her at the lake that one of her friends had posted. In "normal" life I would have never known the photo existed and both of us would have likely preferred it that way, but thanks to her friend tagging her in the photo it shows up on my feed. I try and keep my children's names off the internet, and I do find that occasionally I have to police when others might have accidentally disclosed them.
- "I'm just part of the Facebook crowd." This is how a good friend of mine recently described her hurt about not being notified personally of a tragedy going on in a family member's life. In her mind it was diminutive, it wasn't enough for a real relationship. These miscommunications are so frequent and public; comments are misunderstood. As our relationships take on this digital component, how people establish rank in relationships will be interesting... can we have a "best" Facebook friend?
One other surprise, I would classify as the rise of the Facebook "popular." These are the frequent posters who actually share quite a bit of their life on Facebook. I am surprised to have realized I have come to feel a stronger bond with some merely through their activity on Facebook. I'll call them Facebook popular. The irony is, because, I'm largely silent, these people likely feel no increased kinship toward me, but I feel like I know them, their joys, their challenges, and in new ways their sense of humor... in many cases better than I ever knew them as face to face acquaintances. So to my new "popular" friends, congratulations on successfully diving into social media. You have gained notoriety through it. I am one of your silent observers. Thanks for giving me your trust, especially, when Facebook provides so many vulnerabilities. I will try to be respectful of that trust and not use the information you post to hurt or demean you. I hope all others will be equally respectful.
My attendance, however, is not without reservation. Here are the things I hate about Facebook:
- Thinking to myself, "Did they really just post that?" This is what crosses my mind when someone shares the dates they'll be out of town, when they announce that they've just bounced multiple checks, or when they complain about their job. This stuff is broadcast to lots of people with lots of backgrounds and values. If you wouldn't stand up in front of a congregation at church and say something, I wouldn't suspect you'ld really want to share it on Facebook.
- Everything I say is broadcast to so many people. I have to be careful what I say. I can have a smart mouth, and there have been a couple of times where I've really wanted to razz somebody for something they've posted. I've had to keep my wit in check though, because, with every post I have to remember I'm representing myself in a professional light. Is this something I'm okay having all my current and future clients know I said?
- It causes heartache. I have seen friends renounce my religion, watched acquaintances battle cancer, and family members go through the crisis of losing a loved one. These are painful things for me, and sometimes fewer details are easier to manage. The problem isn't that I don't care, rather that I do, then I find myself caring all day long. This kind of stuff keeps me up at night.
- Can you say, overshare? I don't care what song someone just listened to or what game they just played. I don't need to know how many times my little brother tells his girlfriend he loves her. I figured out by necessity how to limit what posts I saw from some people.
- It is very difficult to control what others will reveal about you. One of the biggest hurdles I had to overcome with my brother's girlfriend was a bikini photo of her at the lake that one of her friends had posted. In "normal" life I would have never known the photo existed and both of us would have likely preferred it that way, but thanks to her friend tagging her in the photo it shows up on my feed. I try and keep my children's names off the internet, and I do find that occasionally I have to police when others might have accidentally disclosed them.
- "I'm just part of the Facebook crowd." This is how a good friend of mine recently described her hurt about not being notified personally of a tragedy going on in a family member's life. In her mind it was diminutive, it wasn't enough for a real relationship. These miscommunications are so frequent and public; comments are misunderstood. As our relationships take on this digital component, how people establish rank in relationships will be interesting... can we have a "best" Facebook friend?
One other surprise, I would classify as the rise of the Facebook "popular." These are the frequent posters who actually share quite a bit of their life on Facebook. I am surprised to have realized I have come to feel a stronger bond with some merely through their activity on Facebook. I'll call them Facebook popular. The irony is, because, I'm largely silent, these people likely feel no increased kinship toward me, but I feel like I know them, their joys, their challenges, and in new ways their sense of humor... in many cases better than I ever knew them as face to face acquaintances. So to my new "popular" friends, congratulations on successfully diving into social media. You have gained notoriety through it. I am one of your silent observers. Thanks for giving me your trust, especially, when Facebook provides so many vulnerabilities. I will try to be respectful of that trust and not use the information you post to hurt or demean you. I hope all others will be equally respectful.
Why I'm Writing
Hmm, I'm starting another blog. Perhaps it will go the way of my family blog, sadly neglected. But for now, I want a venue to write my thoughts and opinions that won't in any way be incriminating my family as sharing my thoughts and opinions.
There is so much happening in the world today and it requires some deep thinking to truly decide what you believe and how you feel. Writing is a tool that allows you to reach higher levels of critical thinking, so that will be the primary function of this blog. With that said, I reserve the right to change my opinions, to not know all the facts, and to expose my biases. Those are the risks I take when I open my opinions up to the world. The risk is taken, though, with the hope, that perhaps, some of those opinions and thoughts may help teach and inspire others who may be facing similar questions and challenges.
What will I write about? Probably a little bit about relationships, a bit about politics, I'll probably write a lot about health insurance as I am a health insurance broker. I'm a mother too, so I may write about lessons learned, pending problems and blessings given. I probably won't write about family vacations, day to day events or post pictures of all the fun activities we do. That's for the family blog. This one is mine, for my mind and my thoughts.
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